On the first weekend of 2021, Patty decided to play Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. Though the game was released in 2019, Patty had not played it yet, mostly because of the galactic plague of 2020, but also because she spent 300 hours playing Fire Emblem: Three Houses until Animal Crossing came out. Having set upon her task, she decided to take the Stardust Team Slack on her journey with her. Please enjoy her reactions, slightly edited for clarity as excited Patty is not known for her coherence.
Note that as this is a playthrough reaction, there are spoilers for Jedi: Fallen Order.
SERIOUSLY SPOILERS!!!
Patty
Beginning the new year with meeting Cal, let’s gooooooooooo
I apologize in advance for any live blogging
Ash
Woohoo!
Patty
Liv
Takes like 0.2 seconds to fall in love with that little droid
Patty
I’m like 1 and a half planets in and already ridiculously attached to Cal and BD-1
I love these two idiots they are trying so hard
Also I’m being reminded how bad I am at platforming
Patty
Ok so idk who all has played Fallen Order
But I just ran into TRILLA and honestly I should have seen it coming like for reals Patty for reals that was some very heavy foreshadowing
Meanwhile she takes off the helmet and my ass is just like “oh no, she’s hot!” I feel like Cal would get me in this moment, outside of her just trying to kill us
Also I am SQUEALING that his master was a Lasat ‘cause 100% more Lasat stories pls and thank you
Ash
Dammit Patty you’re making me want to play it again and I just started Valhalla!
Stephenie
So I don’t do video games but I love the glimpses I get from y’all.
Elena
I actually wanted to play, just always have too much other stuff going on, but man y’all make me want to play!
Ash
It’s a hobby like anything else. I don’t play them nearly as much as I did in my teens/20s but I still enjoy them.
Nessa
@Patty, I am so excited that you’re playing this game
Trilla is bae.
Patty
Lol I keep doing Valhalla’s controls instead of Fallen Order’s and given it’s already finicky I fall off cliffs a LOT ‘cause of this
Ash
Bahahahahahaha
I’m sorry but that’s funny
Patty
LITERALLY ALL THE TIME
They have these DOUBLE ROPE puzzles and Cal just keeps NOT GRABBING THEM so I just watch him fall to his doom over and over and over
“Cere used THE DARK SIDE” Trilla, love, YOU’RE A WHOLE ASS INQUISITOR I feel like you can’t really call anyone else out for using the dark side
Ash
Patty
“CERE’S A LIAR” Trilla your eyes are literally Sith gold hon like idk what you want me to do
Nessa
Patty
Cal, baby, imma need you to flirt with the Sith more come on I know you can do it, BD-1 can feed you lines
Also welcome to my live blogging, it’s basically me shitposting in delight the whole time
Ash
XD
Nessa
I absolutely love it
Patty
DID HALF-RATE BOBA FETT TAKE MY BABY DROID?!?!?!
(Editor’s Note: She was referring to the Haxion Brood Bounty Hunter, who upon further reflection is a half-rate Boba Fett)
MY MOTHERS ADRENALINE! I’M COMING BD!!!
Ash
Nessa
half-rate boba fett
Ash
I’m almost enjoying Patty’s reactions more than when I played it XD
Patty
MY BABY!!!!!! THEY PUT A RESTRAINING BOLT ON MY BABY?!?!?!
Wait am I about to enter a gladiator fight? ‘Cause legit I just read a fic with that theme
How the fuck did Handsome Jack get into Star Wars
Nessa
Sidenote: I love the music in this scene (and the opener). The Hu is such an awesome music group.
Anna
They are
Patty
Half-rate Boba has been murdered and upon closer inspection he is….. Wearing a fireman’s helmet? That is a choice
Omg Greez. I mean I’m still kinda mad at him but also that was really emotional and Cal’s a lil baby ‘cause he’s apparently only 17 and Greez is TRYING and he’s like oh man I’ve got a kid now I need to be RESPONSIBLE shit
I want to pat their heads and give them blankies and cocoa
Also I gotta say Cal is incredibly levelheaded for a teenager that also has a metric fuckton of trauma going on
Nessa
I think I’ve always liked that about Cal. He does his best to maintain a steady approach and keep his cool.
(Plus I think there’s a lot of we’re just going to throw that into the brain abyss going on with his processing of things)
Patty
Oh yeah like that is definitely there
Kashyyyk has turned into the Tarzan level of the original Kingdom Hearts with all this bouncing
….. The double jump wall running sections are some of the worst ever
Ash
Eh they’re not that bad
Liv
I failed those SO MANY TIMES.
I suck at platforming.
Ash
I played a lot of Mario as a kid lol
Liv
That’s probably my issue – I wasn’t allowed to play any video games when I was a kid, so I missed out on a lot of platformers
Patty
I literally hurt my hand getting the timing right
I play a decent amount of platformers! But Fallen Order is reminding me of the older, more finicky Assassin’s Creeds
Though while playing through the Ninth Sister’s fight I was like. Ok. So most of the Inquisitors turned after or as part of order 66 due to torture or corruption
But TECHNICalLY one of them could have been Grogu’s smuggler
‘Cause it’d have been prior to their turn
Granted I’m still team Jocasta on Grogu smuggling
But it’s an interesting thought, like the last good work prior to it all going to hell
The tragedy of it appeals to me
Oh man. Cal and Ceres talking after Kashyyyk 
“She acted like it was inevitable, but you resisted!” Oh Cal sweet lil bunny
Gaaah and he talked to her after they landed about his emotions and the Force and she called him strong enough to accept his emotions and I am a wreck guys
Oh now we have Nightsister zombies
They look a lot like Fallout ghouls, I keep instinctively trying to loot them for crafting materials and then being like oh wait
Nightsister: THE JEDI ARE ALL MURDERERS
Cal: First of all, I just got here
Well now I know what it would look like if an owl and a dragon had a baby
Ash
Hahahaha
Isn’t it adorable?
Patty
I mean I love it
And I knew I’d have to fight it as soon as Cal was all “hope we don’t have to face that thing” and I was like Cal, babe, you need a nap ‘cause now we gonna have to fight the thing
Oh no baby Cal’s escape and then him facing his fear of failure BUT YOU WERE 12 CAL YOU WERE A CHILD
Ash
I’m waiting for Patty to just sit Cal down and stuff him full of milk and cookies
Liv
Wholesome. Love it.
Nessa
This is exactly what Cal needs tbh
Patty
Cere just gave him the you were a child speech and I’m like Cere I’m so proud of you, working through your own shit to be there for Cal
CAL NEEDS A BLANKIE AND COCOA AND A HUG
Nessa
YES HE DEFINITELY DOES
Anna
Yes.
Patty
Greez would bet on Cal
I love that Greez and Cere are basiCally like “Well….. we have a child now. One that we will constantly throw into danger, sure, BUT HE’S OUR CHILD”
So I just jumped in the water on Ilum and was like WHY IS MY SON JUMPING INTO FROZEN ICE WATER EA GAMES and then I saw that there was a detail of there being underwater heat vents and so I was like oh ok but he’s still going to freeze to death when he gets back to the surface does the Force prevent hypothermia? I feel like it doesn’t
Oh hey Cal even commented on it, such a smart lad
Oh god BD snuggling and booping Cal to keep him awake and help him keep hope and omg my heart so much
Omg and Cordova talking about BD I’m going to cry
Anna
This is why BD is my favorite.
Patty
HIS MEMORIES ARE BROUGHT BACK BY LOVE AND TRUST
I’M CRYING I LOVE BD SO MUCH
I BELIEVE IN YOU TOO BUDDY
Hsjsjdhajdhhdhahskahahajahdb
AND HE REBUILDS HIS LIGHTSABER WITH BOTH HIS MASTERS AND IT CAN SPLIT AND SYMBOLISM
Y’ALL, THE SYMBOLISSSMMMMMMMMM
And then facing down the vision of his first master and finally learning to live with what happened and not wallow in guilt over his master’s sacrifice
Why Star Wars make me so emotional y’all?
Just. The lighting and the blocking of the scene with the lightsaber stopping just at his head as he realizes that power isn’t what the answer is I cry
Merrin also needs hugs and cocoa.
So Taron is an interesting reflection of TLJ Luke too. Like we have two older Jedi who have watched their orders fall, one becomes obsessed with claiming more and more power, the other becomes terrified of wielding that power
Now I shall beat Taron’s ass and give Merrin a hug
Cal: aunt Cere, uncle Greez, this is my terrifying new friend Merrin who is definitely not a witch and also she’s coming with us
Cere used the Force and Cal’s knighted and I’m CRYING AGAIN
(Editor’s note: hours later, because even excited Patty needs to occasionally sleep and also watch Clone Wars to have the energy to squee)
Good morning everyone. After watching Satine and Obi-Wan flirt for half an hour I’m back with Cal to hunt down the holocron and clearly nothing bad will happen.
Obi-Bot (Editor’s note: Yes, we named our Slackbot. After all, droids are people too)
Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time …
Patty
Yeah I saw you and satine on concordia, you sly bot
Ash
Patty
Oh hey I’m in the Guardians of the Galaxy prison block
BD-1 thanks for being my friend 
Oh hey Trilla being there in the obvious trap. How you doin’? Also do the Inquisitors just like….keep spare spinny lightsabers?
Shit shit shit the breathing we gon die
BUT TRILLAS EYES Y’ALL.
Well I immediately died ‘cause I’m emotionally distraught and TRILLA and CERE AND I WOULD BRAND THEIR MOMENT OF UNDERSTANDING AND TRILLA’S EYES SHIFTING ONTO MY SOUL AND THEN ANAKIN COMES IN LIKE THE DRAMATIC ASSHOLE HE IS and also I couldn’t tell what the game wanted me to do
Ooooooh I was supposed to pull the metal thing. Good to know. I mean I’m still gon die but good job Cal I’m proud of you
DAMNIT ANI
BD JUST SHOCKED VADER AND THIS IS THE MOST BADASS AND HILARIOUS THING EVER TO ME
HOLY FUCK CERE OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG MAMAAAAAAA
HE PUT THE BREATHER ON HER AFTER BEING HER STRENGTH AND GROUNDING HER
AND MERRIN SAVES THEM AND NOW EVERYONE’S BEING CUTE OKAY EARLY MORNING CRY TIME
SOMEONE FINALLY HUGGED CAL FINALLY
Stephenie
@Patty This single-handedly made me want to play this game.
Patty
Trust in the Force y’all, trust in the Force
But also WHERE’S MY SEQUEL EA WHERE IS IT
Anna
@Patty I’m so looking forward to the sequel
Nessa
It’s making me want to play itttt
Ash
Play iiiiitttttt
Rachel
Wow I definitely need to replay Fallen Order now because I remember having all these same feels @Patty 
Patty
What do Palpatine, Ben Solo, and Cere all have in common?
They all survive being yeeted down a death shaft
And there you have it, Stardusters! Hopefully you have enjoyed this as much as we did. Patty is still processing all of her emotions and has plans for a more indepth piece on the themes and ideas of Fallen Order, and the implications on the greater galactic narrative, because she is nothing if not consistent in going down the rabbit hole when it comes to Star Wars.
